So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
