So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
