The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
