Duck Duck Cougar?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
