Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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