After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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