Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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