Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
