I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
