So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
