you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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