saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
