this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
