apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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