He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Terrible idea I love it
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
