I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
