and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
