escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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