If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
