hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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