what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
