When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
