His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
