I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
