i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
