I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
