apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
