Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
