Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
