And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
