I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no you cant smoke seaweed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
