i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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