Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
