did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
