Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
