we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
