glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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