The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
