...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
