never play flip cup with pint glasses
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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