I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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