I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Houston, we have a blender
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
