Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
