you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
