I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
