I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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