Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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