Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
