I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
