You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
